


The [T]ruth is that I'm only one girl

by genderdruid



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: 9S struggling with gender identity, Gen, eventually trans girl 9S, full game spoilers in later chapters, major A route spoilers, minor B route spoilers, trans girl A2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderdruid/pseuds/genderdruid
Summary: After finishing the game a few headcanons popped into my head, first what if A2's alluded to backstory is actually the result of her being a trans girl and fighting with command over this. Also, while I know it's generally accepted these days that Weight of the World is about 2B, it does fit 9S really well if 9S used she/her pronouns, and 9S definitely does give off some eggy vibes in the game, so all of that came together into this extremely self-indulgent fic which can in short be summarized as:A retelling of various scenes in game except A2 is a jaded trans woman and 9S is a very confused egg.This is the first time I've done any creative writing in over a decade and first time posting here so despite a lot of polishing it's definitely a bit rough around the edges but I hope y'all enjoy!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	The [T]ruth is that I'm only one girl

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings: eggy feels, light dysphoria, internalized transphobia, non-graphic descriptions of combat and injuries
> 
> Note: I use he/him pronouns for 9S in this chapter because she very much has not figured herself out at all and as such would refer to herself this way at this point in the story, this will change at some point though. Later chapters will include transphobia, malicious misgendering, and stronger dysphoria so be aware of that, this one is pretty light though.

9S felt his body tense as he approached the throne of the forest king, scanning the area for more hostiles. He saw 2B right beside him, doing the same. They had just defeated one group as they climbed the steps, all of them shouting nonsense about how they had to protect their king. Surprisingly, as he climbed the final steps, no more robots leapt out of the bushes to attack them, instead he saw what looked like a crib, a strange object he had heard about in some old-world log somewhere. _What would one of those be doing here?_ he thought to himself. As he approached he saw that inside was a small robot, modeled in the shape of a human baby. _Strange,_ he thought, continuing to scan the area for hostiles.

“Is this… their king?” 9S said questioningly to 2B. 

Suddenly, from behind the ruined wall on the opposite side of the crib, an android leapt up, plunging her sword into the robot and sending out a shock-wave that caused 2B and 9S to leap back. Surprised by the unknown android’s appearance, they took up a battle stance in case she turned out to be hostile. _Why does it feel like every android is built to resemble human women, except for me?_ 9S thought to himself. The mysterious android stared at the robot baby for a moment before throwing it off of her sword with a dramatic flourish. She turned towards the surprised androids. 9S thought that he caught a look of deep sadness on her face and wondered why, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as the mysterious android began approaching them, her sword now sheathed again. 

“2B! That’s… an android! A YoRHa-type android!” 9S said, with both surprise and fear in his voice.

As the android stopped, a good distance away, 9S’s pod began to speak in its robotic voice, “Alert, this unit is currently wanted by YoRHa. Annihilation recommended.” 

“Annihilation? But why?!” 9S replied confusedly. _Surely it was worth at least trying to reason with the mysterious android, to gather data for command_ , he thought to himself, but before he could express this out loud, 2B drew her sword and began walking towards the other android. 

“Let’s go 9S!” 2B said calmly. 

“2B! Wait!” 9S shouted in response but 2B didn’t listen.

As 2B approached, before either side made any hostile moves, everyone froze as they heard 9S’s operator 21O’s voice over the coms, “Bunker to 2B and 9S, we’ve picked up a signal from the black box of a fugitive known as A2. What you see in front of you, is your enemy.” 

9S tried to protest, “But she’s...” 

A2 just watched on, as if she knew what was coming next as 21O continued, completely ignoring 9S’s response, “She deserted us, she destroyed multiple pursuit androids. Now kill her before she kills you.” 9S thought he heard a note of the disdain in the commander’s voice as she put extra emphasis on the words ‘she’ and ‘her’, but he couldn’t be sure.

He didn’t have time to dwell on this thought, since as soon as the message concluded, 2B leapt at A2. A2 deftly blocked, their swords clanking off each other. 9S decided it was probably best to leave the main fighting to 2B and assist from the perimeter with pod fire and hacking support and took a step back. As the two traded blows it became clear that the fight was close but A2 was outmatched. 2B easily landed multiple blows while barely being touched herself. Seeing an opening, 9S focussed his energy and tried to hack into A2’s systems, hoping to learn more about the mysterious android as well as weaken her to assist 2B. On his first attempt he was repelled, _Her mental defenses are tight, as expected from a YoRHa android I suppose_ 9S thought to himself. Realizing he’d never actually hacked one of his kind before. He went in a second time and with some careful navigating he was able to successfully bypass A2’s defenses and hack into her systems. He smiled a little as he saw A2 clutch her head and stagger back. He managed to retrieve some data, and though he was intensely curious and wanted to look at it right away, the sound of 2B’s sword smashing down reminded him that the battle was still going. 2B had taken the opportunity provided by the 9S’s disruption to land a solid blow across A2’s chest and A2, clearly heavily wounded, leapt back onto the wall.

2B and 9S ran forward to pursue, but seeing that A2 was clearly not in any shape to continue fighting, 9S slowed down, hoping to talk with her, with 2B following suit a moment later. 

“Why!? Why did you betray us!?” 9S said, uncharacteristically raising his voice in anger at the android across from him that had betrayed his commander and attacked his companion. 

A2 sighed in response, and after a moment, looking down with a face of deep agony and sadness, she spoke for the first time, “Command is the one that betrayed you.” A2 said with a deep melancholy in her voice, as though this was the thousandth time she’d said this. Before 9S could respond and find out what she meant, A2 calmly took a step back and dropped down from the wall, out of sight. 

“Let’s go after her 2B!” They rushed over to the edge and leapt down, but by the time they landed A2 was already gone.

“Damn, she got away,” 9S said frustratedly. Instead of trying to pursue A2 further he realized he needed to inform the bunker of what had transpired.

“Operator, this is 9S, patch me through to the commander,” he said, calling the bunker with his pod. 

“Roger that 9S” came the reply immediately. An errant thought flashed through 9S’s mind in response. _Gosh, 21O always sounds so cool and collected, not to mention beautiful..._ _Although come to think of it he found all the female android models beautiful, 2B, 21O, even A2 and the commander_ … for a moment he wished he could be like them but he quickly brushed the thought aside. _That’s impossible, my model is my model and there’s no way to change that. It’s not worth worrying about._ He did make a mental note to compliment 21O later though...

His wandering thoughts were interrupted as the commander came on the line and he refocused on the situation at hand. “I’m sorry commander. We failed to defeat the fugitive.” 

“I see.” the commander replied in her usual stern but understanding tone, “Well, at least you’re both safe.” She continued after a moment, “That’s an incredibly powerful unit you just faced. You should probably keep your distance in the future.” 

There was a pause, 9S hesitating a moment as well, but he decided to ask the question that had been weighing on his mind ever since first seeing the rogue android, “Commander? Why did A2 desert the force?” 

The commander sighed, as if wishing 9S hadn’t asked that question, but after a few moments, she finally replied, “I’m afraid that’s classified.” 

“Oh? Huh.” 9S replied with surprise.

The commander hung up without responding. After thinking for a moment, 9S had a thought. “2B?” he said to his companion. The other YoRHa had just been standing there this whole time, seemingly lost in thought. “Yeah?” 2B said with a start. 

“Let’s go ask Pascal about A2. He might know something.” 

“Alright.” 2B replied, still clearly not fully paying attention. 

9S called up Pascal, “Um, Pascal? This is 9S.” 

“Oh! You survived! How wonderful!” Pascal replied with his cheerful, surprisingly materialistic voice. _I wish my voice could be more like his, it sounds so nice and feminine even though Pascal is a male robot. Although, do robots really have genders? How does that work anyway, maybe I should ask later._ He immediately pushed the wayward thought aside and continued, 

“Yeah, we’re fine. But, there’s something we want to ask you about.” he said with an obvious hint of worry creeping into his voice as he spoke. 

“Of course! Anything!” Pascal replied brightly. 

“Actually, it needs to be in person.” 

“Hmm, understood. I’ll open the gate we built to deter enemy invaders. You’ll be able to reach the village through there.” Pascal replied, clearly a bit worried for 9S.

Pascal hung up and 9S began leading the way out of the forest castle and back towards the village gate that he remembered from when he first visited the village. After a few minutes of traveling through the forest, they approached the gate and saw the friendly robots from Pascal’s village guarding it, white flags held high. 

“That must be the gate Pascal mentioned!” he exclaimed as they approached, 2B still seemed lost in thought and didn’t reply. As they got closer, a friendly machine greeted them in the typical deep, extremely robotic machine voice. Even though 9S had spent quite a bit of time in Pascal’s village by now and knew these robots were friendly and not going to hurt him, their voices still unnerved him a little. 

“We have been expecting you. Pascal told us about you. We will open the gate.” The machine said. It turned around, and waved to another machine on the battlement who waved back before walking out of view. It must have used some mechanism or switch a moment later, as the gate slowly opened in front of them.. The machine who greeted him earlier spoke again, in its grating robotic voice. 

“Please pass through. We will continue to stand guard.” 

9S thanked the friendly robot and ran through the gate and up the hill to get to Pascal, 2B following absentmindedly behind. He sprinted past the machine guarding the entrance and practically flew up the ladder before running over to Pascal.

Once 9S approached, Pascal gave him a perfunctory greeting before querying him with a worried tone. “I was surprised you wished to speak with me personally. Whatever is the matter?”

9S thought for a moment, then replied in a serious tone. “It’ll be faster if you just take a look at this recording.” 

Pascal hurriedly scanned through the recording before replying with a twinge of regret in his voice. “...I see. Information about this A2 android is indeed contained within our archives.” 

9S perked up at this but Pascal continued, “We all understand her to be rather dangerous. However she’s never visited our village in person. My apologies. That’s all the information I have.” 

9S’s shoulders drooped disappointedly. “I see… All right, thanks.” he said and walked away with a lot to think about.

As they walked away, after having barely spoken since their encounter with A2, 2B spoke up “Let’s stay sharp and head back to the resistance camp. We should run a check on our consciousness data and resupply.” With no reason to disagree, 9S followed along as 2B led the way out of the machine village and back towards the camp. However, this time it was 9S’s turn to be lost in thought. Why was information about A2 classified? Was there some secret about her that command wanted to keep from the other androids? 

Once they were out of earshot of the machine village, 9S’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by 2B’s voice., “9S, why did you ask Pascal about A2?” 

“Huh?” 9S replied, caught off guard by the sudden question. “It’s not recommended to interface with machines without consulting command.” 2B continued.

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.” 9S said, still somewhat lost in his own thoughts. 

“Though, I guess such intense curiosity can be admirable... in its own way.” 2B concluded. He could never really tell how serious 2B was being, due to the way she tended to speak so bluntly and emotionlessly, but then again he also found that endearing in its own way. 

“Heh. Thanks 2B.” he replied with a chuckle. 

After a short pause, as if hesitating whether or not to say it, 2B finally continued, “Still, machines are the enemy. Don’t forget it.”

After continuing a bit further back to the camp, 9S heard a ring from his pod. 

“Operator 21O to 9S. This is your regularly scheduled contact.” 

“Yeah, yeah, no problems here.” 9S casually replied, just wanting to get this over with. 

21O continued, “Copy that. I also need to inform you that the Commander offers her personal praise for your recent achievements. As a direct result we are currently considering boosting production of your model.” 

9S paused a moment in surprise, having expected 21O to berate him for the double affirmation.“Really? I’m happy to hear it!” He wasn’t really sure what to make of 21O’s statement but he figured it was a good thing. Remembering his earlier idea to thank 21O for all her help, he continued, “I couldn’t have done it without your support, operator. You’re always so cool under fire, not to mention beautiful and--” 

21O, clearly quite annoyed, and maybe a tiny bit flustered, sternly cut him off, “Flattery, is unnecessary. Operator 21O out.” 

21O had hung up before he could respond, so 9S replied to 2B instead, his voice sounding dejected, “I really meant it though...” 2B didn’t reply and the two of them continued. 

Back at base, 9S started in the direction of Anemone but paused before starting back to his room. He just needed a moment to think alone. Questions about the mysterious A2 ran through his head one after another. _Why was she a renegade? Why was information about her classified? Her physical features were strange to him too, why was she wearing shorts? He thought all female YoRHa models were made with skirts. Why was her voice so deep? It wasn’t outside the range he’d read about in human women but YoRHa models were designed with exaggerated features, all the ones he knew had much higher voices._ _Maybe that’s just how the first generation was._

A moment later his thoughts turned to the data he’d acquired by hacking A2 and he decided to take a look. It was mostly garbage but there were a few things that stood out. There were some bits from A2’s model information and logs that caught his attention, designation A2 apparently meant that she was an ‘Attacker’' type model from the first generation of YoRHa androids, the prototypes for 2B’s model. He found scattered data referencing something called the “Pearl Harbor Descent” which he presumed was some operation A2 took part in, as well as some data noting that all of the A class androids were designed to look like male humans - apparently their creators believed that to be the optimal form for combat at the time based on human history. But that couldn’t be right, 9S thought to himself, A2 was clearly designed to be a female android. There must have been a mistake in the records; there were scattered references from the logs about abnormalities in A2’s data and combat capabilities, so maybe she was an exception to the general design? After all, the B-class androids were all designed to be female. With the data having only raised more questions, 9S vowed to talk to A2 directly if he could find her again. But he set those thoughts aside for now, as he heard Anemone outside calling him over for his next mission.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! As I said in the description, this is my first time doing creative writing in over a decade and first time posting here and I kinda word vomited it all out in one sitting. Big thanks to my friend Bran, @ravenl36 on twitter for helping beta read and polish this up, it was a real mess at the start but I'm pretty happy with how it is now. Chapter 2 will focus on A2 and her backstory and will come out eventually, it's hard to say whether it'll be a be a few days or weeks since motivation is complicated but I have it outlined and I'll probably get started soon. Follow me on twitter @TheGenderDruid for updates.


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